i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
