So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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