my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
