it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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