does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
