I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
