so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
sex in a hospital.. check
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
