what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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