but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
