So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
