I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
