My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
