yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I've blown a few things in my day
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
