i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize