You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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