new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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