how can u be prego again
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
you made out with another girl for some wings
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
