Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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