You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Too much gin, very little bucket
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
