chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think people are normalizing furries
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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