Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
