I feel like abortions should bother me more
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize