spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
