This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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