i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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