I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You pole danced in your parka.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
