I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i drank out of a bidet.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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