"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
