i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize