You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
