that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
