at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
