i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
