i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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