Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
