Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
