the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There r osticjed everywhere
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
