apparently the secret to your success is patron
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
it was like eating out sand paper
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
