I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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