yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
