your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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