wat bout pragnant strippers??
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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