God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
