He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize