Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
