Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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