I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
wakey wakey hands off snakey
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
