That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
ok first of all what the fuck
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
