One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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