Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
