Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I love you. Go after that dick
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