Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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