I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Even my vagina gasped.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
