He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
