I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
