You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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