I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
