I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
