Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
